The sky was so blue, so clear. In the crisp autumn air it was easy to breathe, to organize my thoughts in their proper slots.
Everything seemed to make sense. Was there something in me that said it was an illusion? It was so easy not to listen to it. For a second I almost remembered that soon it would be November and so black that the accidental beam of light would be sucked into the blackness without any mercy. But it was so easy to bury that thought into the vast vessel of things not to think about and send it to the place I didn’t want to know about. The blues, greens, yellows and reds steered me into a moment that made me put aside my worries, drop my guard, plunge into the carefree. There was plenty of time to regret it later.
‘If there’s anything to wish for, what would it be?’ You asked me. ‘A hug and a kiss’ I replied with a grin, but at the same time I thought of a life without self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, which I left unvoiced for a reason. There was nothing you could do about it and there was nothing to win by letting you see it. Or was there? Would I dare to gamble? Maybe not this time. I got my hug and kiss after all.
We walked another mile or two in silence. I wasn’t sure if there were things left unsaid or not. I wasn’t sure how long the sun would shine and the trees would glow. I didn’t know if I should worry about it or not.